“Fervent prayer”. Okay, so you determine, once again, to pray more often. You have a specific request, which has both a physical side and a spiritual side to it. You feel convicted for not having prayed enough in the past. You decide that “fervent” means to sometimes fast & pray. To pray in the night hours when sleep evades you.
But in the night hours, your praying turns to begging, pleading for an answer soon. Like a baby wanting it now. Many things come to mind, in the night. Things that make you think the happy years are over for good, or that all along you’ve only been fooling yourself–sweeping the sad things under the rug, so to speak. Is this a lie? Or is the other a lie? You choose to believe the better thing, because it feels like you are not able to do otherwise.
Are you able to pray, rather than beg? You think of the verse, “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous…” righteous… another word to get stuck on. You know, as most Christians do, that you’re only righteous because of Christ taking your punishment in His death. But that’s kind of ‘old hat’, and it doesn’t really work for you… because even if He loves you, you hate yourself. You hate how often you fail Him. You hate the fact that you know it as you say it: “I’m sorry, I don’t want to do it again”, that you will do it again, you will fail Him again, no matter how sorry you are. You hate the pride inside that can’t seem to die.
Then it occurs to you… to worship. You think of God, and nothing else. He is mighty, He is beautiful, He is. And now, you are righteous. You are righteous because God dwells in you. God “dwells in the praises of His people”. Where God is, is holiness.
And now, the prayer comes easily, fervently. And… it “avails much”.
(if anyone knows that verse about God dwelling in the praises of His people, please let me know!)