do you hear what I hear?

What in the world is "Neuro-linguistic Programming" you ask? Basically, it’s "listening for and responding in the dominant mode of the speaker’s language". Obviously, this will help you communicate better.

If you’ve heard about the different "learning styles"–everyone learns best in their own style–this is really an extension of that. Your dominant mode will be either visual, auditory, or kinesthic ("feeling/emotion"). You can tell which mode is likely someone else’s, by listening to the words they use:

  • "Do you see what I’m saying"–visual; other visual words: bright, focus, imagine, viewpoint, witness, etc.
  • "Do you hear what I’m saying"–auditory; other auditory words: amplify, ask, listen, speak, click, etc.
  • "Are you with me on this"–kinesthetic; other feeling words: grasp, hold, smell, taste, touch, link, etc.
  • (unspecified words: aware, believe, learn, ponder, understand, etc)

The visual person likes to have things straight (like pictures on the wall), things to fit properly, and tends to sit in the middle of the church. The auditory person is generally an intellectual and doesn’t respond to huggy-touchy people, is more interested in the message rather than the worship, and tends to sit at the back of the church. The kinesthetic person often has a small "private space" (how close you can get to them), and tends to sit at the front of the church. (I’m first of all visual–always straightening the placemats in a restaurant, and secondly kinesthetic.)

There was also a session on watching a person’s eye movements in order to get a clue as to their mode, but it seemed a little complicated and difficult to remember–certainly not easy to interpret my notes! Although, it was very interesting. (If a person looks up to the right when they’re thinking of their answer, they’re likely kinesthetic, etc.)

The Creative Question was tacked on here (as far as I can make out from my notes!), since you ask a question and watch their eye movements and listen to their language, to figure out how best to respond. (For example: "Can you share the most rewarding experience…") This question is to follow up on what they’ve said already, and should be positive and focused on them.

Tomorrow’s tool: "Story Listening". I think there are about 3 more note-days!

Walk to Rivendell:  At the end of Day 22 we have only gone 6 miles again, for a total of 374 miles since we left Bag End.

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